Yeah, but they'd have to use their own magical energy to do it. And since I'm so powerful, I'd drain a regular human dry before I even got around to using my Noble Phantasm. I doubt I'd be any better off than I am now, in that case.
I'd still eat just as much, though. Know why? It's all about the taste! Sandwiches! Muffins! Chocolate! Woohoo!
[ Gray smiles. Mordred can really be surprisingly cute. ]
Modern food must be very different to the food in your time. I know I was shocked when I left my village and ate at my first nice restaurant. I had no idea food could taste so complicated.
[ Or that desserts could be so delectable. ]
If you had to have a Master, what would you want them to be like?
Alright, it's decided! Once I'm king, my first order of business is gonna be getting some good food! I'll start by banning vegetables!
[ What are you, five... oh wait. At least Gray's question prompts a more serious answer, with Mordred pausing to give it some thought. ]
To begin with, they'd have to be super powerful. Prepared to do anything to win, but never stooping so low as to involve innocent people. A confident and bold exterior, balanced with a healthy pragmatism. Most importantly, they should understand their place.
In a Master-Servant relationship, I'm the one in charge... but I won't accept a simpering fool for a Master, either. They ought to be worthy of commanding me, even if it's my choice whether or not to accept those commands. You could call them a trusted advisor to the king.
[ A little more resigned: ] ... I'd also prefer someone I could get along with... but that's probably not possible for me. That's why I need to be careful about who I choose — it'd be annoying to have to kill them and start over again.
At least the other parts make sense. Someone powerful, driven, sensible, and just. (The last one surprises Gray a little, but in a good way.) All of that sounds a bit like King Arthur...
Except for the part about knowing their place. Gray never knew King Arthur, but she gets the feeling he wouldn't be content to bow to Mordred's commands for the sake of it. ]
Rin sounds like she could be a good choice. And she has experience as a Master.
[ She's not overly surprised to hear Gray suggest Rin — it's not as if she's never thought about it herself. That's why she just sighs in response. ]
Yeah, she does. And that's the problem. [ No, she won't elaborate. ] If you wanna know why, ask her about her Grail War sometime. It should be clear we aren't compatible.
[ As I pretend some of the gardens conversation happened before this so she doesn't spend an hour screaming about the second part...
Not in a mocking tone for once, but clearly quoting someone: ]
"A blue Saber. Hair kept neater than yours, and a measured expression like a perfectly placid lake surface. She wasn't mine, but I think we would have been unstoppable together." — That's the first thing Red told me about King Arthur. [ Yes, she remembers the exact words Rin used... sorry she's a freak. ] How could I be the Servant of someone who thinks like that?
I need to be stronger, and more admirable than my father. Enough that even if he were here, people would still... [ "choose me". Realizing she's been too open with her insecurities, she backtracks. ] ... Well, I'm obviously the better choice. Red's just biased, is all.
[ That's quite the thing to be able to parrot back. But put that way, Gray can see Mordred's logic — especially as someone whose place in legend revolved around her conflict with her father. (Gray still has questions about how Arthur was Mordred's father when Arthur was definitely a woman, but Gray will never dare breach that topic.)
She can't really comment on how Mordred is as a Servant compared to Arthur. She also doesn't doubt that Rin and Arthur would have done well together, if only because of Rin's driven personality. All Gray can really say is... ]
Um, for what it's worth, I think you're already strong and admirable.
[ And abrasive and hot-headed, but one person can be all of these things. ]
... I don't need you to tell me. Like I said, it's just Red who hasn't got the memo yet.
[ She looks to the side. ]
Honestly, I never cared about being "admirable" when I was alive... but that was before I made up my mind to become king. Someone who rules for their own sake, with only minor consideration for the common people — most kings in history were like that. That's why the only one worth emulating is the King of Knights.
Even though I don't admire my father [ lol, lmao, etc ], I can admit he had some admirablish qualities. I never once disagreed with any of his decisions... except for in regards to me. [ The certainty in her voice wanes, replaced by frustration. ] So, to surpass him... I need to reach the same level of perfection, and find whatever he was missing. Then I can force him to acknowledge [ "me" ] his mistake.
[ Ah. She's beginning to see more of what makes Mordred tick. She's spoken before about wanting to surpass Arthur, and about becoming a king. But put this way, the framing is a bit more complicated, and human as well. Where once Gray would have had serious doubts about what Mordred might be like as a ruler, Mordred's consideration now speaks to a certain amount of potential. Not that Gray knows anything about what it takes to be a king, so her opinion can only count for so much.
(Gray also thinks she heard a made-up word in there, but she keeps that to herself.) ]
What he was missing... What do you think that was?
[ If it was anyone else, she'd change the subject. Hell, most times even with Gray, she'd still change it. But they've come this far, and she's honestly at a loss for answers — not that she expects Gray to be able to give them to her, but maybe she'll have an observation that Mordred missed. ]
I don't know. [ She admits with a wry, somewhat annoyed smile. ] But there has to be something, right? His rule still collapsed [ damn i wonder why ], so even if it was perfect, it wasn't perfect enough. I won't be satisfied with that.
[ Gray tries very hard not to ask the question that begs to be asked: If you hadn't been there, would Arthur's kingdom still have fallen? If Mordred is pondering what other factors could have marred Arthur's rule, then evidently she thinks she wasn't the only problem. ]
I was taught that the people were tired of war, and that's why they were willing to consider a new king. So if the fighting ended sooner...?
The people [ said as if she were referring to shit on the bottom of her shoe ] were blind to the necessity of war. I may have used that ignorance to my advantage, but I despised each and every one of them for turning their backs on the king who fought so hard for everyone.
[ She knows Gray is only trying to help, though, so despite the obvious annoyance in her voice, she does her best to temper her response. ]
Listen. I get what you're saying, but humans are disgustingly fickle creatures. Britain was closer than ever to being united, yet they threw that future away to gamble on me — as if I could ever relate to their pathetic lives. Even if the fighting had ended sooner, their complaints would have soon been about taxes, or the division of land, or a bad harvest. There's just no pleasing them.
[ For someone who doesn't admire her father, Mordred spends a lot of time acknowledging his hard work. Gray can't argue that people aren't fickle, either. After witnessing the behavior of the people in her own village, she can't claim to know how the human mind works at all. ]
Did King Arthur ever talk to the people about it...? Um, I know you didn't have anything like the radio back then, but it sounds like there was a big disconnect between them.
... Never so directly, no. He probably thought that our victories would speak for themselves, that people would understand his reasoning. And why wouldn't they?
[ Why wouldn't they? she repeats in her head. Mordred pauses, thinking things over for a moment; drumming her fingers idly as if to burn off nervous energy. ]
"The king does not understand the hearts of men." [ She says suddenly. ] That's what that bastard Tristan said when he left the Round Table. It wasn't just him, either — the idiots who sided with me claimed the same thing. They never even realized the person they were following now wasn't human to begin with. How freakin' funny is that? [ Her voice is utterly humourless. ]
[ "The king does not understand the hearts of men." What a terrible indictment. Gray wonders how Arthur took that — was he hurt, offended, indifferent? Just as Gray thinks that even Arthur was human, Mordred declares the opposite, prompting a confused look. ]
Huh? [ Genuine confusion, until she realizes what Gray's talking about. ] Didn't I tell you? I'm a homunculus. My mother made me in the king's image... I suppose the closest comparison would be that of a clone.
But make no mistake — my creation may have been artificial, but I still carry my father's blood. I'm the only person alive who does.
[ Homunculus? Clone?? Of course Gray has heard of those things, but being told that someone you know has been one all along is a different matter. It doesn't really change who Mordred is as a person, but it sure brings up a lot of questions. Gray blinks, her little brain struggling to process this new information. ]
... I see. Then we have even more in common than I thought.
[ Mordred is even more "King Arthur's body" than Gray is. That's quite the thought, and one she'll continue to dwell on. ]
Your mother... really spent a lot of time trying to recreate the king's image.
No shit. Why do you think I was so freakin' mad when I first saw you? It all should've ended with me.
[ It sure would've been helpful if she'd like... explained that at the time. Oh well. ]
If we were truly alike, your lifespan would have already reached its limit. At the very least, be glad that my mother's hand in your creation was a more distant one... though you should curse her a hundred times over for causing it at all.
[ Gray doesn't have time to curse Morgan a hundred times once, let alone many times over, because she's too stuck on something Mordred said earlier. ]
My lifespan... um, what was your lifespan?
[ She's aware that this is a badly worded question, but there are too many unknowns now for her to hope at sounding like she's having coherent thoughts. ]
[ She shrugs, clearly far less bothered by the topic than Gray is. ]
If we're talking years, specifically... then perhaps twelve at most. Probably less than that, knowin' my old lady. She always intended for me to perish after killing the king, so she could swoop in and claim the throne for herself.
Well, yeah. Compared to the rest of those Round Table idiots, I'm the most mature person in the goddamn world.
[ ]
I entered the king's service a few years after my birth. By that time, my appearance was the way it is now, and I was already my father's equal in swordsmanship. My origins were of little concern when compared to my obvious skill.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ It's a bit boggling to hear it put that way, but it does make sense given that the power and existence of a Servant is itself a minor miracle. ]
But if you had a Master, they would be able to replenish you?
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I'd still eat just as much, though. Know why? It's all about the taste! Sandwiches! Muffins! Chocolate! Woohoo!
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Modern food must be very different to the food in your time. I know I was shocked when I left my village and ate at my first nice restaurant. I had no idea food could taste so complicated.
[ Or that desserts could be so delectable. ]
If you had to have a Master, what would you want them to be like?
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Alright, it's decided! Once I'm king, my first order of business is gonna be getting some good food! I'll start by banning vegetables!
[ What are you, five... oh wait. At least Gray's question prompts a more serious answer, with Mordred pausing to give it some thought. ]
To begin with, they'd have to be super powerful. Prepared to do anything to win, but never stooping so low as to involve innocent people. A confident and bold exterior, balanced with a healthy pragmatism. Most importantly, they should understand their place.
In a Master-Servant relationship, I'm the one in charge... but I won't accept a simpering fool for a Master, either. They ought to be worthy of commanding me, even if it's my choice whether or not to accept those commands. You could call them a trusted advisor to the king.
[ A little more resigned: ] ... I'd also prefer someone I could get along with... but that's probably not possible for me. That's why I need to be careful about who I choose — it'd be annoying to have to kill them and start over again.
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At least the other parts make sense. Someone powerful, driven, sensible, and just. (The last one surprises Gray a little, but in a good way.) All of that sounds a bit like King Arthur...
Except for the part about knowing their place. Gray never knew King Arthur, but she gets the feeling he wouldn't be content to bow to Mordred's commands for the sake of it. ]
Rin sounds like she could be a good choice. And she has experience as a Master.
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Yeah, she does. And that's the problem. [ No, she won't elaborate. ] If you wanna know why, ask her about her Grail War sometime. It should be clear we aren't compatible.
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She told me a bit about it. That King Arthur participated, but was consumed by the Grail.
[ It makes her all the more grateful that her mentor ended up not joining. ]
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Not in a mocking tone for once, but clearly quoting someone: ]
"A blue Saber. Hair kept neater than yours, and a measured expression like a perfectly placid lake surface. She wasn't mine, but I think we would have been unstoppable together." — That's the first thing Red told me about King Arthur. [ Yes, she remembers the exact words Rin used... sorry she's a freak. ] How could I be the Servant of someone who thinks like that?
I need to be stronger, and more admirable than my father. Enough that even if he were here, people would still... [ "choose me". Realizing she's been too open with her insecurities, she backtracks. ] ... Well, I'm obviously the better choice. Red's just biased, is all.
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She can't really comment on how Mordred is as a Servant compared to Arthur. She also doesn't doubt that Rin and Arthur would have done well together, if only because of Rin's driven personality. All Gray can really say is... ]
Um, for what it's worth, I think you're already strong and admirable.
[ And abrasive and hot-headed, but one person can be all of these things. ]
1/2
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[ She looks to the side. ]
Honestly, I never cared about being "admirable" when I was alive... but that was before I made up my mind to become king. Someone who rules for their own sake, with only minor consideration for the common people — most kings in history were like that. That's why the only one worth emulating is the King of Knights.
Even though I don't admire my father [ lol, lmao, etc ], I can admit he had some admirablish qualities. I never once disagreed with any of his decisions... except for in regards to me. [ The certainty in her voice wanes, replaced by frustration. ] So, to surpass him... I need to reach the same level of perfection, and find whatever he was missing. Then I can force him to acknowledge [ "me" ] his mistake.
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(Gray also thinks she heard a made-up word in there, but she keeps that to herself.) ]
What he was missing... What do you think that was?
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I don't know. [ She admits with a wry, somewhat annoyed smile. ] But there has to be something, right? His rule still collapsed [ damn i wonder why ], so even if it was perfect, it wasn't perfect enough. I won't be satisfied with that.
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I was taught that the people were tired of war, and that's why they were willing to consider a new king. So if the fighting ended sooner...?
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[ She knows Gray is only trying to help, though, so despite the obvious annoyance in her voice, she does her best to temper her response. ]
Listen. I get what you're saying, but humans are disgustingly fickle creatures. Britain was closer than ever to being united, yet they threw that future away to gamble on me — as if I could ever relate to their pathetic lives. Even if the fighting had ended sooner, their complaints would have soon been about taxes, or the division of land, or a bad harvest. There's just no pleasing them.
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Did King Arthur ever talk to the people about it...? Um, I know you didn't have anything like the radio back then, but it sounds like there was a big disconnect between them.
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[ Why wouldn't they? she repeats in her head. Mordred pauses, thinking things over for a moment; drumming her fingers idly as if to burn off nervous energy. ]
"The king does not understand the hearts of men." [ She says suddenly. ] That's what that bastard Tristan said when he left the Round Table. It wasn't just him, either — the idiots who sided with me claimed the same thing. They never even realized the person they were following now wasn't human to begin with. How freakin' funny is that? [ Her voice is utterly humourless. ]
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Not human to begin with? What do you mean?
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But make no mistake — my creation may have been artificial, but I still carry my father's blood. I'm the only person alive who does.
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[ Homunculus? Clone?? Of course Gray has heard of those things, but being told that someone you know has been one all along is a different matter. It doesn't really change who Mordred is as a person, but it sure brings up a lot of questions. Gray blinks, her little brain struggling to process this new information. ]
... I see. Then we have even more in common than I thought.
[ Mordred is even more "King Arthur's body" than Gray is. That's quite the thought, and one she'll continue to dwell on. ]
Your mother... really spent a lot of time trying to recreate the king's image.
[ why ]
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[ It sure would've been helpful if she'd like... explained that at the time. Oh well. ]
If we were truly alike, your lifespan would have already reached its limit. At the very least, be glad that my mother's hand in your creation was a more distant one... though you should curse her a hundred times over for causing it at all.
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My lifespan... um, what was your lifespan?
[ She's aware that this is a badly worded question, but there are too many unknowns now for her to hope at sounding like she's having coherent thoughts. ]
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[ She shrugs, clearly far less bothered by the topic than Gray is. ]
If we're talking years, specifically... then perhaps twelve at most. Probably less than that, knowin' my old lady. She always intended for me to perish after killing the king, so she could swoop in and claim the throne for herself.
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[ Gray practically yelps with surprise. She'd expected fifteen at the very least given their sharted appearance. ]
I thought you were older. You seem so... um, adult.
[ Not mature. But adult. ]
preserves your typo in amber
[
I entered the king's service a few years after my birth. By that time, my appearance was the way it is now, and I was already my father's equal in swordsmanship. My origins were of little concern when compared to my obvious skill.
DROPS IMMEDIATELY
:innocent:
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